Top 10 Religious Costumes for Kids
I don’t blame the Jesus Ween people for declaring war on Halloween. Little kids dressing up in cute costumes, going door to door to get candy from their neighbors…well, it’s just so insidious. But you’ll be glad to know that where there’s conflict, there’s a potential for a happy medium. And clearly — CUH-LEAR-LEE — this year’s happy medium resides squarely in religious costuming for kids. Because the staff here at Relax, it’s Just God aim to be helpful, above all else, “we’ve” amassed the 10 best religious costumes based on factors much too complicated and nonexistent to enumerate here.
1. Jesus of Nazareth
Christianity still reigns supreme here in the United States. According to the Association for Religious Data Archives, 76 percent of the population ascribe to one of literally hundreds of Christian denominations — making Jesus the top choice in faithwear. Who needs Jesus Ween when you can dress as Jesus for Halloween? Oh, and also: How cute are those shoes? (Amazon, $22.67)
2. Nun
When asked “What Would Jesus Wear?” (for Halloween), nine out of 10 Catholics with a sense of humor said “Nun.” Also, there’s nothing risqué about this little number, making it a crowd favorite among dads. Get one while supplies last. (BrandsOnSale, $29.99)
3. Torah Boy
We were sorry not to see this guy rank higher on the list. I mean, it’s a kid dressed as a Torah, people. A Torah. There is literally nothing in the history of time cuter than this costume. Unfortunately, Judaism carries a much smaller percentage of the vote than Christians (1.7 percent), and Little Torah Boy’s ranking reflected that. (Amazon, $31.84)
4. Islamic Girl
Maybe it’s the hot weather in the Middle East, but Muslims have the comfort thing down pat. If you’ve got one of those kids who just wants to trick-or-treat in her pajamas, this costume may be the ticket. Check out the Islamic Boy outfit, too. Just as cute, and well-worth the extra shipping to have it sent from the UK. Happy Allaween! (Pretend to Bee, 12.95 British Pounds)
5. Buddha.
Technically, Buddhists are more prevalent than Muslims in the United States. But this Gold Buddha Costume got docked some points because it only comes in adult sizes. I know, we were shocked and outraged, as well. The CEO of Go4Costumes ought to know that when Gold Buddha isn’t offered in toddler sizes, children suffer. (Go4Costumes, $88)
6. Hindu Girl
Unfortunately, the controversy over supermodel Heidi Klum’s Shiva costume a couple years back has sent children’s shops retreating from Hindu god and goddess costumes. So this year we we’re limited to regular Hindu wear. Luckily for us, saris tend to be pretty spectacular, and this Bollywood Princess costume is no exception.(Amazon, $24.89)
7. Atheist
We’d hate to leave would-be atheists out in the cold on Halloween, so here’s the closest we could come to dressing as, well, Nothing. It’s not a bad likeness as likenesses go, really. And morphsuits have great reuse potential. Outline the whole thing with purple cord and you’ve got one half of a fantastic Harold and the Purple Crayon costume for next year. (Party City, $29.99)
8. Scientologist
Sure, most kids would rather go as Nothing, but we’re all about offering options. FYI, Scientologist costumes are best pulled off by strikingly handsome little boys with great hair and big teeth. Not saying it’s easy, but with the right look, it’s crazy cool. Don’t forget your Dianetics book and E-Meter!
9. Moses
You had me at the 10 Commandments. It’s all about the accoutrement, and Moses always did have the best stuff. In addition to the commandments, kids also might consider carrying a burning bush, a brass serpent or just a shitload of stone. (That guy loved him some stone.) If you’re looking for group-costumes, you might consider going as the 10 plagues. Incredibly, plague masks are easy to find. Just be sure that no matter who joins Little Moses in trick-or-treating, he gets to lead the way. Ha ha. (Costume Discounters, $16.97)
10. The Virgin Mary
Originally, the Confucius facial hair was on the list at No. 10, but we just couldn’t do it. It was so flippin’ lame. And there was something offensive about the whole thing, too. (Shut up. Don’t say it.) So we settled on Little Mary with her baby Jesus. Again, perfectly acceptable for JesusWeen, and heart-meltingly sweet. I just want to scoop this little girl up in my arms right now and bring her home. It would totally be worth having Jesus call me Grandma.
So there you go. Hope you all have a swell holiday. Just remember, no matter what faith you’re representing, keep it clean out there, okay? Halloween is supposed to be scary, but not, like, religious-war scary. And if you live in my neighborhood, don’t forget to knock on my door. I’ll be the one dressed as the Irreverent Blogger in Danger of Being Shot By a Fundamentalist.
Happy Halloween!
This post originally appeared in October 2011.
Number 8 gets my vote. I could never pull off a nun. Though I learned recently that one of my best adult friends had seriously considered becoming a nun in her early 20s. She hasn’t had much luck in the realm of secular marriage — at all. Poor girl. Really don’t understand her choice in men. Maybe she had an inkling she should have married Christ in the first place.
I think Mr. Scientologist should come with platform shoes.
Love it! But that “Jesus” costume is just mislabeled. Why would he be old and holding the 10 Commandments? But a crucified-Jesus costume would have great crossover potential: religious *and* gory. Or maybe a post-resurrection Jesus with white facepaint and black eyeliner to tie into the whole zombie thing.
Oh geez! Thanks for flagging, Theresa. I was messing around with the featured image on the front and somehow managed to change Jesus to Moses. Now fixed.
Aha, now that’s more like the nice young Jesus I remember.
I like Moses and by the way, he is a Jewish hero. My favorite however is not here but his name was Melchizedek. The King of (Jeru)Salam priest of El Elyon. Also Joan of Arc rates high on my list but alas, it seems Superheros for boys, and Princesses hands down for girls for the last five years are number one, costumes. Adults are easy at least for women as Margret Sanger, Susan B. Anthony, and others looking for the advancement of women would be turning over in their graves to see all of the modern day scantly dressed “pick me please” costumes that are available. I know I like them. My mom had to tell me that my first costume she made for me was a Knight in shining armor out of an old silver rain coat. So my codependency it appears, was an issue that started long before I ever realized, much to my embarrassment. As far as best costume for men, my old neighbor dressed as a cholo with a can of spray paint who is a gringo, by the way, won in my book, even though I was greatly offended by it. After all what would my bato friends say?
Oh wow. This seriously takes me back to grade school. Over the years, the Catholic school I went to phased out non-Christian costumes because of the high number of scary costumes. Nightmare on Elm Street was a big deal then and everyone was going as Freddy or Jason. Eventually we were told only to go as our favorite saint or religious figure. No joke.
Torah boy is my hands down favorite–