‘I Love God, Even Though God Is Not Real’
The best part about writing a parenting blog? Sometimes your kid composes the blog for you. Remember the time she drew a picture of God, and it turned out looking like a yellow cyclops with male pattern baldness and a handlebar mustache? Good times.
Well, it happened again this week when Maxine walked into my room while I was getting dressed and showed me this little goody. If you’re not familiar with kindergarten composition, it’s meant to say: “I love God, even though God is not real.”
See what I mean? Silver platter.
So here’s the story.
It’s Monday morning, and I’m telling Maxine about Eid al-Adha, which I wrote about for Monday’s blog. I’m explaining how Muslims all over the world are celebrating a holiday that consists of sharing meat with people who don’t have food, etc. I ask her if she wants to hear the “God Story” about how the holiday came to be, and she answers with an enthusiastic “Yes!” So I tell her about Abraham and his willingness to sacrifice his son to God. The name Abraham rings a bell for her, and she asks if she can get down her “God Book” (which is what she calls her beginner’s Bible) and flips through the pages looking for Abraham.
He’s, of course, hard to find because every other man pictured in this book is a middle-aged white guy with a long beard, but we eventually find him and she’s thrilled. Then she goes on to show me a picture of Noah and his ark and insist that it’s a picture of “God making the world.” At that point, I duck out of the room to get dressed, and leave her chatting happily to herself about God and Abraham.
After about five minutes, she comes waltzing into my room.
“Mommy, look what I made!”
She hands me the above message, and does me the enormous favor of reading that last part aloud.
My first reaction is to recoil a bit. Oh shit, I think. Are my own beliefs indoctrinating her to be a nonbeliever? Is she bothered, on some level, by my lack of religion? Is she trying, in her 6-year-old way, to open up a more serious conversation?
But my second reaction — which is almost always a better one — is to, you know, chill out. My daughter has just made me some artwork, I remind myself, and she’s come to show it to me.
“That’s awesome, babe! I love it,” I say.
She beams proudly, and announces she’s going to tape it to my bedroom door.
“So you don’t think God is real?” I ask.
“Nope,” she says. “Do you?”
What can I say?
“Nope.”
She affixes her message to my door with tape and walks away. I swear to you, she has a spring in her step.
I know Maxine will change her mind about her belief in God — probably dozens of times! — before she’s an adult. And that’s great with me. But I can’t tell you how happy I am that she made this.
And, no, to answer your question, it is NOT just because I was able to get a blog out of it. I mean really, people. There are lots of reasons …
… that …
… there would be …
… I just need to …
Okay, fine. It’s all about the blog.
My youngest son asked “how many universes are there?” I told him people tend to think one (which I know is changing), but I don’t really know why they think that.
I feel the same about God info. I wish I had the answer, but how can you know about God if cosmology has you stumped?
Thanks for sharing the struggle.
A great analogy from a great guy. Thank you, Will!
I like how she very obviously separates the two ideas. Its like she was thinking that in case god does exist, he/she hopefully will be so pleased with the the top comment that they wouldn’t even look at the bottom.
I can remember myself at about her age feeling the same sort of cautious conviction about Santa. I professed his nonexistence to the universe one day when I was all by myself. But, just in case, I made sure to explain to Santa’s omnipresent ear that he should understand why I came to that conclusion. I didn’t want my convictions to make it so I [gasp] wouldn’t get any presents!
You have taught her well in my book!
That’s a funny take on it, Harry! I actually don’t think that’s the case, though. Maxine has no concept of God “liking” or “disliking” people and why that would matter. She doesn’t connect heaven to something you get if you “believe.” I think the message was much simpler, actually. I think she doesn’t believe in God right now, but really loves the idea of him — the concept, the stories. She loves talking about him and contemplating him.
I liken it less to “loving Santa just in case he’s real” and more to “loving Barbies even though they’re plastic.”
I love God, too, even though God is not real. I totally get this. I am an ordained minister who no longer believes in god. But I do love the stories (well, many of them), and the idea of god, and understanding how belief can shape one’s worldview. And I love rituals to mark life transitions. And I love community. (And I love that I no longer have to lead a faith community, so my lack of belief doesn’t really matter for the work I do presently.) I am expecting my first child to arrive in January. And I hope I can raise him to be a freethinker, but still one who wonders (and delights) in the idea of god, the sacred stories, et al. I would feel as if we succeeded if our child were to make a sign like Maxine’s. I know it’s possible to raise such a child, and they turn out to be amazing adults. My freethinking partner was raised in a non-religious environment, and he embodies so much of what I want our child to be like.
I love this, Rachel! Thank you. Also: If we consider love the opposite of fear, then raising up kids to love God certainly ensures that they don’t fear God. Bonus!