One of the best things about writing a parenting blog about religion is that people send you their funny, insightful and just plain cute religion-related kid stories. Especially if you ask them to. People who read blogs are nice that way.
So, to brighten up your Thursday, here are seven stories guaranteed to make you smile — if not guffaw. Enjoy! And thank you, readers, for sharing your lives and laughter with me.
My 5-year-old daughter, Alice, and I were talking this past December about all the big questions: Who is God? Do you believe in God? How did the world get made? etc. I answered in my best think-your-own-thoughts vein with things like: Some people believe God made the world, and other people believe the world wasn’t made by anyone. We talked about the Big Bang a little bit, and she seemed to be agreeing with the scientists and skeptics, and then she comes out with this worried-sounding question: “But what if Santa believes in God?”
It was late spring, after our garden was in, when our aging cat Maggie died. My daughter, 3 years old at the time, was handling it surprisingly well. She was talking about us burying Maggie with a glimmer of excitement. She was happy to help us push the dirt into the hole to cover her up. I was feeling really proud of the incredible parent I must be to have a 3-year-old able to handle death so lightly. Later that night, she was talking to her Grandma about what we had done that day. And then I heard her say, “We planted Maggie today, and soon we are going to have KITTENS!”
Carla shared this story:
Traveling down Interstate 57 near Effingham, IL, there is a giant, white cross erected by the side of the road. My 3-year-old son, Gareth, says, “Look, Mommy, that is a big T!” Not ready to have that conversation, I said, “Yes, that it is a lot of people’s favorite letter.”
My son’s name is Loki, which, for some reason, was the only name my husband and I agreed on. Both my husband and I are atheists, but we try to expose our child to different ideas, religious and otherwise, from all angles. It’s up to him to make the decision in the end. As a result, we read lots of myths. Interwoven with Greek mythology are stories from the Bible, the life of Muhammad, and Loki’s all time favorite: Norse mythology (of course). After reading a particularly awesome ‘Loki story’ that day, my son put it all together. “Mommy,” he said, looking at me with all seriousness. “I am—a GOD.”
This one came from Shahzad:
Before becoming an atheist, I had been attempting to raise my son Ijaz (about 4 years old at the time) in the Islamic tradition at home and had taken him to the mosque on two occasions for annual Eid prayers, where he was able to follow along with the Islamic prayers that required multiple prostrations. My wife and I assumed that he was doing okay with these annual visits, but we learned otherwise when he heard us discussing the upcoming Eid and immediately interrupted to clarify his disdain for the mosque visits by saying, “I don’t want to go to that place where people lie down.” It was funny to realize that this was what my son had taken away from our understandably half-hearted attempt at following my childhood religion.
The boys and I had a really funny discussion a few months ago, when I was reading Greek myths to them. Sirus said, “Wait – how come there are 12 gods here? Is Zeus the same as the God who created Jesus?” When I said no, he asked, “So were they wrong? Or are we?” It’s a good thing my mom wasn’t in the room for that, she would have had a coronary when I said, “The answer to that question is, what would you rather believe?”
One of my all-time favorites is this one, which I received via e-mail some months ago. Unfortunately, I can’t find the original message and no longer have the name of the writer. If you’re reading this and you recognize this story, please let me know!
Before school began, I chatted with my 5-year-old before bed one night. I told him about how he was going to be meeting all kinds of new kids at school. Some will look like him, some will look really different. Some will like all the same things he likes and some won’t like those things at all, and some more still will like things he can’t stand. Everybody is different and nobody is wrong when it comes to what they like and don’t like. Then I explained that some people believe in a man who, according to beliefs, lives up in the sky in a place called “heaven” and from up there he watches over all the people on the Earth. Not everybody believes in him, but a lot of the kids he will meet DO. He asked me the man’s name, so I answered “God.” His response? “I don’t think God is a good name for him. His name should be Rollbert.”